Valentine’s Day can be a day filled with love and romance or mired with pressure and disappointment. If you don’t want to end up feeling frustrated, avoid these 7 things that are sure to mess with the romantic mood.
1. Indulge in too much chocolate
If you’re hoping for some oxytocin-inducing bedroom activity, don’t overdo it on the chocolates. Dark chocolate contains a chemical called phenylethylamine that is known as the “love molecule” because it initiates the flood of chemicals into the brain that create feelings of euphoria and attraction. But a little bit goes a long way. Too much chocolate lowers blood sugar, which could put you and your partner to sleep.
2. Notice what you don’t like
The restaurant didn’t seat you at the table by the window. They’re out of your favorite entrée. Your date is wearing those shoes you hate. Pointing out everything that’s wrong is a downer that will annoy your significant other. If you tend to see what’s wrong in a situation, make a pact with yourself to notice 3 things you like before you focus on anything you don’t like.
3. Spice things up with drama
Some people are drawn to drama and conflict as a way to add some “excitement” to a relationship. This is especially common in people with the Spontaneous Brain Type. (Our brain imaging work has identified 16 Brain Types, and you can take a FREE assessment to find your Brain Type). They tend to have a need to play “let’s have a problem” as a way to activate areas of the brain that are low in activity. There are healthier ways to activate those areas of the brain—a higher-protein, lower-carbohydrate diet; as well as stimulating supplements like green tea, rhodiola, ashwaghanda, and ginseng.
4. Stare at your phone
Scrolling through your social media feed while you’re on a date is a sure-fire way to irritate that special someone. Make it a point to not to put your phone on the table. A 2018 study found that having a phone on the table between two people had a negative impacted on their sense of connection and conversation quality.
5. Go overboard
Overdoing it with lavish gifts with someone you only recently met can backfire. Similarly, going into emotional overload—talking about marriage and children, for instance—is more likely to make your date run the other way.
6. Have massive expectations
Thinking that this one day out of the year has to be absolutely ah-mazing is a sure way to set yourself up for a letdown. In my relationship, we do nice things for each other every day, and really, V-Day is no different.
7. Wallow in misery
If you’re single or alone on the big day and focus on what you’re missing out on, you’ll just make yourself feel depressed and lonely. A solo Valentine’s Day doesn’t have to be a sad one. Think of it as a day for self-love and self-care. Treat yourself to a warm bath, a spa treatment, or cuddle up with a good book. You deserve it!
For chocolate lovers, one piece of my Nutty Butter Cups is just the right amount to boost the romantic mood. And if you’re one of those Spontaneous Brain Types, look for stimulating supplements like Focus & Energy. As a thank you for reading my blog, you’ll get 21% off when you enter the promo code TANA21 at checkout.