While there are many great mentors you can learn from that can help you knock your goals out of the park, what if I told you that you are by far the most powerful mentor you have?
Using your past success as a template for overcoming bad habits is an excellent way to fuel future victory. Try picking a negative habit or pattern that you successfully overcame. Get clear about the wisdom you gleaned and lessons you learned and apply the same strategy to the current effort to change your unhealthy behaviors. The fact that you broke at least one bad habit is proof that you can do it again!
While you meditate on your past success, ask yourself these questions:
- At what point did I realize that I had to change?
- What was my leverage, my “why”?
- What had to happen in order for me to succeed?
- What were my beliefs about the challenges I faced?
- What steps were most productive as I worked toward my goal?
- How did I stay focused?
- How much effort and time did I invest in changing?
- Who offered me the most support? Who stood in my way?
- What techniques and skills served me best and which were ineffective?
- How did I feel when I broke the bad habit or started the new empowering one?
Now think about the times you’ve missed your mark and didn’t succeed. Pay attention to the following:
- Were you really serious?
- At what point in the process did you give up?
- What were the circumstances?
- How did you feel when you were about to give up?
- How did you feel after you gave up?
- What were the challenges?
- Did you have an unhealthy person in your life interfering with your goals?
- Could you have prepared better?
- What did you learn?
By analyzing your past successes and falls (I hate the word failure), you will quickly see where the gaps are. When you succeeded in the past you were able to create a pattern for success. You also had momentum that helped fill potential gaps that could thwart your success. For example, if you graduated college with honors, think back to the many exams you took. If you had a final exam that really counted, you must have successfully managed to decline going to that Saturday night party instead of studying when it mattered. Why did you make this choice?
When you’ve fallen, you hit some real or perceived barrier because you gave in when you shouldn’t have. Why did you do that? This is where the gap is, and is the difference between when you win and when you lose. Now use your past success to create the formula to fill that gap. Watch the attached video for more details and examples.
There are amazing mentors and coaches who can help you achieve your goals. But the truth is, you are your best mentor if you are able to take the time to learn from your mistakes and use your past success as a template for future success. In addition, people are contagious and who you spend time with affects your happiness, health, success and longevity. That’s a good reason to start looking for a healthy tribe to spend time with.
If you feel stuck and you need some help getting started, we’d love to have you as part of our community. I’ve had different mentors for the past twenty years and I will continue to have them as long as I’m able. And there is no better way to really integrate something into your life than to start teaching it to others. So we’d be honored to have you join our tribe.